I hate my job.

God. I am so sick of my stupid job. Call centers are a fuxking joke. No one cares about you. I hate supervising at this piece of shit company. I can't wait to get out of here.

Failed

God. Yesterday I really crashed and burned. When I got home from work I was like a frigging scavenger. This one meal diet is no good. I'm back to just healthy eating... Im making it a goal to limit my portion sizes though... I think that's my major problem.

A little motivation

Do you ever have those days where you feel absolutely hideous and disgusting? Well, today was definitely one of those days. I feel so hideous, like every flaw is maximized. I hate my teeth, my hairline, my stomach, legs, arms, big boobs, and I hate how I'm not tall enough. On top of that, I hate how jelous I am of everyone else. It feels like anyone else would be better.

The good thing about feeling like such shit is that it motivates me to be better; to be the best. Easiest thing right now to fix is my body; seeing as I'm a broke college student with no money from braces.

Since it's so easy from me to big out, my new plan is to have one meal a day. That's it. I already had it today (lunch - tuna sandwich), but from now on I'll just have supper. The rest of the day I'll have to rely on  water and coffee.

On the way home I made a list of things to do INSTEAD of eating:
-Watch a movie or tv
-Paint my nails
-Read
-Do homework
-Work out
-Go shopping
-Do laundry
-Clean my room
-Play a game on computer
-Call a friend
-Sleep
-Drink water, coffee, tea
-Bake
-Cook for someone
-Give myself a facial
-Take a shower

Lastly, before I go, a few words of motivation:

Nothing tastes as good as being skinny.

Fitness Update

Hi guys, so I've been doing great on my path to a healthy lifestyle. I know it's not much, but I've got to the gym twice this week! Last week was once, so I'm glad it's a step up. I'll probably go again tomorrow. At the gym that I got to, they have different arobic classes everyday. Today was yoga. I haven't gone to yoga in over a year, so I was really glad that it was more of a beginner class. I could really feel that I was rusty.. not much balance and NO core strength. I'm really looking forward to getting back in shape and working my way back up.

accomplished

Had a really good day today! Went to class, got all my homework done, AND went to the gym! For lunch I had a salad with ham, turkey, cheese and veggies. For dinner I'm having salad and chicken. I wish everyday could be this good.

At the gym, first I went on the elliptical for 30 minutes, then I did the weight machine circuit, afterwards I went back on the elliptical for 35 minutes. It feels SO good to be working out again. 

Disgusting

Lastnight, I had the most disgusting binge. I ate almost an entire bag of macaroons (only 1 left), 3/4 of a bag of chips, and almost an entire bowl of dip that 1 made. Not too terrible right? Guess what's in the dip.... 1 block of regular cream cheese, 1/3 cup of mayo, 1/3 cup of ketchup.

God. It's like once I get started I just can't stop. I totally lose control. I really paid for it after. I felt so so bloated and absolutely nauseous. I was so close to making myself sick so I could feel better, but I just couldn't do it. 

Today, I'm going to do better.

Salad for lunch,

Chicken with Salad for dinner

Going to the gym.

treating myself tonight!

To a delicious dinner! I'm ordering greek pizza and wings for dinner tonight. There was a huge snow storm today and my plans got cancelled. So I'm spending the night in relaxing and munching out! :)

what i bought

Wilfred Cheval Top In Leopard $60

There's still lot's of great boxing week sales going on everywhere. And most of the time, even bigger mark-downs! Yesterday I went to Aritzia and got some comfy pieces to wear to class and at home on lazy days.

Talula Betsy Blouse $30

 

 

 

Wilfred Mathias Rugby Stripe T-shirt 

TNA Lambswool Sweater in Boho Geo Spiro $75

Wilfred Picault Terry Pant $68

i've learnt my lesson

Yesterday I felt so so so disgusting. I started off really good by having a tuna sandwich on flax bread with soup. But then I made these fudge bars. I had like 5 of them. I guess all of the chocolate got to me; I felt so sick and disgusting.

I'm glad I woke up late today - 1pm -  so that I don't have as much time to worry about food and being fat. Last night I planned what I'd have for today:

Breakfast:
1 cup of oat meal with 1/4 cup of blueberries
1 coffee

Lunch:
1/2 can of Campbell's Healthy Choice Soup
1 slice of toast (flax bread)
1 coffee

Dinner:
1/2 can of Campbell's Healthy Choice Soup
1 slice of toast (flax bread)

Dessert:
1 small piece of fudge bar

I know it looks really boring. Especially since I'm having the same thing for lunch and dinner. But for me, I like repetition. It works for me.

Anyway, these devilish fudge bars that I've been bitching about, are sort of like the oat fudge bars you can get at Starbucks. I found the recipe here. They are so good and I'd definitely recommend you try them. But beware, they're addictive and high calories!

happy new year!

Hi guys! Hope everyone had a great new year! Mine was definitely a memorable one. The plan for the night was to pre-drink at a hotel, then the club downtown and an after party at my friends place. I had a really great time!